Deepening Connection in a time of Social Distancing
Photo by Akshar Dave on Unsplash
In this time of voluntary (and mandatory) social distancing, it is easy to feel isolated from the important relationships in our lives. Yes, touch is important, but this is also an opportunity to practice the skills of deep connecting that we don't always remember to pay attention to. Here are some tips on connecting while at a distance.
Practice your listening skills: When listening to your colleagues, friends and family try to help them feel heard. You can do this by trying to get beyond the surface conversation and try to learn what is most important for the other person. To do this, show that you're curious by asking follow up questions. Repeat back what you hear them say to show that you really understood them. Show empathy by acknowledging that you can understand how they feel (even if you don't agree).
Ask Open-Ended Questions: A good question, whether it's in a meeting or a private conversation, has the power to inspire and generate growth for both speakers and listeners. Try to find questions that don't have easy answers, that help people think beyond their routine, and that prompt others to reflect on what is at the heart of an issue for them. Here are some fun prompts: "Tell me a story that will help me understand why this is important to you." or "If you had a magic wand and could make things just the way you wanted..." or "What are the values that motivate you to think/do..." or "Who are the people that inspire you?" In general, it's helpful to use questions that start with Why? How? And What?
Make Heartfelt Requests: It can be really risky to ask for what we want, but making a true request (a real invitation, not a demand) has the power to bring people closer together. When you ask for what you want in a relationship, you're not just honoring yourself. You're demonstrating that you value and trust the relationship, and you're creating space for the other person to ask for their needs to be met. The trick to making a request is to do so with an open-hearted spirit. When you let the other person know they can say "no" to your request, you create space for them to offer you something as a true gift. Giving and receiving is sharing, a mutual exchange that is a gift for both people involved.
Deep connection goes far beyond being in physical proximity with others. True connection is from heart to heart, and we are vast and contain multitudes. Let us use this time to remember to explore what's really important to one another.
And keep your phones charged, because making the time to sit down for an earnest video chat, is a beautiful way to connect.
I'm learning to appreciate all the ways to connect through video calls. I remember when that was an impossible idea of the future. Now its as easy as any form of communication. We are blessed.
Photo by Christina @ wocintechchat.com on Unsplash