The Foundations of Conflict Resolution, Transformation and Resilience
We never get into conflicts over things that don’t matter to us. Yet our actions and statements are often personal, hostile, and adversarial, and fail to acknowledge or transform our defensive, judgmental responses into skillful dialogues over what matters, and why. Every conflict takes us to a crossroads, revealing internal and external challenges that may lead us in different, and sometimes harmful, directions. Yet at the heart of conflict, there is a path to resolution, reconciliation, and forgiveness.
Because of the nature of organizations working for social, environmental, political and community change, it is critical to understand and affirm the positive role of conflict in achieving their missions. These 'movements' therefore must build a basic understanding of conflict and develop the tools to skillfully recognize and respond to both internal and external conflicts as they arise, and transform them into sources of learning, organizing, and social justice.
Alternative Definitions Of Conflict
Conflict is a failure of collaboration or community
Conflict is a lack of acceptance of ourselves that we project onto others, blaming someone else for what we perceive as failures in our own lives - diverting attention from our mistakes.
Conflict represents a boundary violation, a failure to value or recognize our own integrity and therefore the personal space of others.
Conflict is the sound made by the cracks in a system; the voice of the new paradigm calling for change in a system that has outlived its usefulness.
Conflict is an opportunity and a request for authenticity, acknowledgment, intimacy, empathy, understanding, growth, or learning; in other words, a request for a better relationship.
Options For Responding To Conflict
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When conflict emerges, there are several options for responding, while recognizing there is no “right way” to handle conflict. We can choose to accept or tolerate the problem or leave the situation altogether; or we can address the problem directly and seek to constructively transform the way we think about and respond to it. Addressing and transforming conflict can take many forms.
While there are many different methods of interests-based conflict resolution, a comprehensive approach may include these elements
Cease fire/de-escalation/agreement to address the problem
Identification and discussion of stated issues and underlying interests and emotions
Resolution of the underlying emotional issues and satisfaction of interests
Settlement of the issues
Forgiveness and self-forgiveness
Reconciliation and return to open heartedness
Prevention and conflict resolution systems design
The parties involved are interdependent; each needs something from the other, and they’re vulnerable if they don’t get it
They blame each other and find fault with each other for causing the problem
They are angry, fearful, or frustrated, or feel emotionally upset; these emotions may be obvious and known or disguised and unknown to parties involved
There are breakdowns in relationships, which impact people at an individual level, but can also reduce organizational. effectiveness and undermine movement values
There are many different kinds of cost associated with conflict, including political costs, and these can be reduced or prevented by learning how to respond more skillfully
There are two dimensions to building conflict competencies in social/political organizations:
A proactive side in which training and practice will enhance the skills of the group during normal circumstances;
And a reactive side in which the same competencies are deployed and enhanced with the support of trusted and experienced conflict advisors, usually at times of heightened tensions.
In the complex world of competing movements, ideas, and resources, those organizations which deploy both proactive and reactive approaches to conflict will ultimately have a better chance of moving forward to achieve their mission for positive social change.